

"Pompous" comments regardless, there's a reason why Volition, the developers of Saints Row, are feeling so confident even if they delayed the release of the upcoming Saints Row 2 to steer clear of the GTA IV effect. Having played through Rockstar's epic twice and enjoyed every minute of it, I needed another sandbox hit of some description between now and the release of the much-touted DLC and so decided to opt for the budget Saints Row, a title I had been previously sceptical of. My reaction is "wow".
Hit the jump for more<< MORE >>


"Koming soon"? Jeez, we are SO over the whole K thing already! How about just re-releasing that terrible MORTAL KOMBAT!!! techno song again while you're at it?
So before I get all cynical and rip into this news, I must admit that I loved MK as a kid, and just thinking about the series takes me back: writing down the fatality moves from Gamepro magazine and taking them to the arcades with me; being so so frightened of Baraka and the Dead Forest stage in MK2 (and of telling my mum that buying the Game Boy version was a waste of money and I wanted to take it back to the shop); memorising Sub Zero's 6-hit combo in Ultimate MK3 (what was up with that 'run' button, eh?); having a crush on Sonja Blade (Kerri Hoskins).

It seems that our good friends over at the Sony Corporationhave been hiding information about the release date of the popular onlinesocial community “Playstation HOME” in sites across the web.
Oh sure, there have been many theories as to the release date sinceit was promised to Sony’s dwindling, yet loyal, fanbase early 2007, yet onetheory stands above the rest.
Discovered in my booze fueled Facebook and randomwebsite surfing rampage, I came across dictionary.com‘s definition of Home.
–noun
1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence ofna person, family, or household.
2. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
3. an institution for the homeless, sick, etc.: a nursing home.
4. the dwelling place or retreat of an animal.
5. the place or region where something is native or most common.
6. any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.
7. a person's native place or own country.
8. (in games) the destination or goal.
9. a principal base of operations or activities: The new stadiumwill be the home of the local football team.
10. Baseball. home plate.
11. Lacrosse. one of three attack positions nearest the opposing goal.
–adjective
12. of, pertaining to, or connected with one's home orcountry; domestic: home products.
13. principal or main: the corporation's home office.
14. reaching the mark aimed at: a home thrust.
15. Sports. played in aball park, arena,or the like, that is or is assumed to be the center of operations of a team: The pitcher didn't lose a single home game all season. Compare away (def. 11).
–adverb
16. to, toward, or at home: to go home.
17. deep; to the heart: The truth of the accusation struck home.
18. to the mark or point aimed at: He drove the point home.
19. Nautical.
a. into the position desired; perfectly or to the greatest possible extent: sails sheeted home.
b. in the proper, stowed position: The anchor is home.
c. toward its vessel: to bring the anchor home.
–verb (used without object)
20. to go or return home.
21. (of guided missiles, aircraft, etc.) to proceed, esp.under control of an automatic aiming mechanism, toward a specified target, as a plane, missile, or location (often fol. by in on): The missile homed in on the target.
22. to navigate toward a point by means of coordinates otherthan those given by altitudes.
23. to have a home where specified; reside.
–verb (used with object)
24. to bring or send home.
25. to provide with a home.
26. to direct, esp. under control of an automatic aiming device, toward an airport, target, etc.
—Idioms
27. at home,
a. in one's own house or place of residence.
b. in one's own town or country.
c. prepared or willing to receive social visits: Tell him I'm not at home. We are always at home to her.
d. in a situation familiar to one; at ease: She has away of making everyone feel at home.
e. well-informed; proficient: to be at home in the classics.
f. played in one's hometown or on one's own grounds: The Yankees played two games at home and one away.
28. bring home to, to make evident to; clarify or emphasize for: The irrevocability of her decision was brought home to her.
29. home and dry, British Informal. having safely achieved one's goal.
30. home free,
a. assured of finishing, accomplishing, succeeding, etc.: If we can finish more than half the work today, we'll be home free.
b. certain to be successfully finished, accomplished, secured, etc.: With most of the voters supporting it, the new law is home free.
31. write home about, to comment especially on; remark on: The town was nothing to write home about. His cooking is really something to write home about.
As you can see, after highlighting the key letters in the article, it clearly spells out “Home will be released in April.”
… Sony, you sly dog, thought youcould outsmart the gaming public! Wrong.
And yet there’s more to this puzzle. Do you really think the fact that there are 31 definitions for HOME is a coincidence? Well Sony's PR sure hopes you think there isn’t! It’s obvious that Playstation HOME will be released on April 31st of this year. Now, I know what you’re saying, 'But there are only 30 day in April, dumb-ass”.
WRONG: it’s a leap year. And it was right under our noses the entire time.
While they were at it, Sony decided to send out a little “fuck you” to their competition as well. Under the definition of #27 “at home” it clearly states (after highlighting the key letters again) “WII SUCKS”.
And where do most people play their Nintendo Wii? At home! Coincidence? I’ll let you be the judge, but this is one guy who knows better.
So next time you’re on message boards spamming made up release dates for your favorite upcoming Playstation 3 releases, maybe you should open your eyes and do a little research instead.
I'll be upfront with you, I have never seen an Uwe Boll movie. But I have worked at a movie rental outfit, and I have seen the pain riddled faces of people who have rented his movies. The best response ever was when I asked a customer what he thought of Bloodrayne: he looked me right in the eyes, his full of scorn and simply replied, "Fuck you" and walked out.
Awesome!
Surprisingly enough this did convince me to see his films. Strange how I don't want to spend two hours allowing House of the Dead to suck the life out of me.
But I can still hate him, because for every shitty movie with a video game as a basis, it makes the medium look that much worse in mainstream culture's eyes, and more funding is given to a hack director that could have gone towards some awesome. Or coke for studio execs. Either way, as long as Uwe doesn't get the money, everyone wins
Anyways, back on topic. Over at FEARnet.com, they caught up with Uwe for a quick Postal related interview. Which no one probably cares about because the movie is probably a shit-storm of terrible and awful. But what people should care about is the little nugget at the end of the interview.
Are you aware that there is a petition online, signed by 18,000 people, requesting that you stop making movies?
Yeah, I know that. 18,000 is not enough to convince me.
How many would it take?
One million. Now we have a new goal.
Hear that, haters? A challenge!


What the hell? What's a Spartan soldier doing in DOA 4? Mario and Sonic at the Olympic games? Battletoads vs Double Dragon??

Halo nerds rejoice as Spartan Nicole practices aerobics with the DOA girls
Gaming crossovers have been around for ages now, with a variety of characters and franchises merging together to form some insane results. Robocop vs Terminator was one of the early crossover titles I remember from my youth, and this was pretty cool WAY back before Aliens vs Predator came along with rubbish movies and hardly a single decent game apart from the Jaguar FPS and the side-scrolling arcade game. These days it just gets crazy, with Super Smash Bros Brawl inviting everybody to the party, although as an MGS fan I must admit I don't quite fancy the prospect of Snake getting his arse whipped by Kirby. *Sigh*, what would The Boss think of that?

Smash him Snake, smash him!

Let's all jump into our way back machines, to remember a time, long ago, when Rare used to make good games, and sometimes even released them... It was a long time ago so I can't blame you if you are having trouble remembering.
But back in the good old days when Rare was Nintendo's hired gun for cute, furry, barf-a-thon collect-a-thon games, the company released a game featuring a retarded hill-billy bear (pictured), donning a backpack stuffed with a wise-crackin' bird. The pair starred in two games, Banjo Kazooie as well as Banjo Tooie.
Today Rare announced the story line of the next game in the Banjo that no one gives a shit about. And thanks to it being April Fool's Day we get to guess from a few options. One of which is the actual story line of the game.
Also the word rumor is spelled incorrectly because these are quotes and Rare is located in Great Britain, which means they can't spell.
Rumour One: Banjo and Grunty team up against a new threat, falling in love in the process.
Rumour Two: Kazooie is abducted by aliens and Banjo heads out to search the cosmos.
Rumour Three: Banjo and Kazooie travel back through time in pursuit of the witch's giant T.I.T.
Rumour Four: Banjo comes out of retirement to stop his home being redeveloped into tower blocks and malls.
Rumour Five: War comes to Spiral Mountain, and Banjo becomes a reluctant leader.
Which one you think it is?
I am hoping for it being a trick question where the correct answer is they shut the fuck up and make the sequel to Perfect Dark we all want. Only this time they won't make it suck like PDZ did.